gaffle-chart

Because of all the questions and e-mails we’ve received about gaffles and melvins, I prepared this handy chart explaining The HANDSLAP Hierarchy.* In case you’ve forgotten, a gaffle is the punishment for a joke that no one finds funny; calling gaffle allows the person to slap the hand of s/he who told the bad joke. A melvin is a “get out of gaffle free” card, said by a person who is either committed to her/his joke, or not terribly excited with being slapped on the hand. A galvin trumps the melvin in the case that the joke is bad enough to not let slide. In the case that being slapped is just not an option, the offender can use her/his sad marvin to avoid any and all punishment. A person is granted one melvin per day, but encouraged to borrow liberally from the future. Sad marvins are to be used more sparingly. One per month, please.

*That’s also the next band name we’ll use when Miss Fairchild goes belly up. Same dudes, new name.

If our chart is unclear, think of it as a series of options:

IF YOU:                                        YOU MAY:

tell a bad joke……………………………….receive a gaffle.

recieve a gaffle……………………………..use your melvin.

are rebuked with a melvin……………….trump with a galvin.

want to a avoid a galvin………………..use your sad marvin.

 

The series always ends with a handslap, a melvin, or a sad marvin. Does that clear things up?

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