My family gave me this mug for Christmas. What does that say exactly?

I recently sent out the following e-mail to a few of my close friends. It was written in a moment of strange inspiration, the source of which I do not know, but could not be ignored. I intended to stimulate conversation and find ideas that might aid in the improvement of self and the friendships. Also, I wanted to see if I could get a few people laughing. Perhaps their responses will do all this for me, and perhaps they will provide another thing: content. Meanwhile, enjoy, and if you like, post responses here, or send to me via the contact page at the top.

Happy New Year!

We hope this message finds you in good spirits and health! With the advent of the latest calendar year, the Marketing Team here at SchuylerCorp is excited to send along these salutations and an update of recent goings-on here in the SchuylerCorp corporate offices. First, with all of the uncertainty in these harsh economic times, we would like to reassure those of you who own shares of the company that no one will be laid off. We will be making some changes and promotions (as outlined below), however we are retaining all staff. Here are some of the changes:

Administration has made a commitment to being more present in front-line, day to day operations of the company. No longer will they be calling the shots blind, so to speak.

Our maintenance crew has hired a dedicated Supervisor, to insure that upkeep in the offices is more efficient and improved.

We are folding our Research and Development department into our Marketing Team. This is a temporary move made specifically to reassess how to better serve you, the client. In the past few years, R&D has done a lot of good for the company, but in our year-end meetings it became clear that we, as a company, have lost touch with our most important asset: our clients. Inspired by a recent re-broadcast of a This American Life episode, we have decided to redirect our resources into a three step plan:

1. Gather information by way of survey from our most valued clientele.

2. Process this information, looking especially for trends and standouts.

3. Implement changes intended to strengthen our relationship with our clients and shareholders (many of whom are one and the same).

With all of that said, we do hope you will take a moment of your time to fill out the following survey in as much or as little detail as your time affords you. With this information, we hope to improve our service to you, and in turn our standing as your friend. The questions are related, so you may choose to answer them collectively if it pleases you. Rest assured, we will not be using this information to solicit new clients, as we are very happy with the ones we have presently. Thank you in advance and we look forward to your ideas and suggestions. We hope that the new year is and continues to be a success for you, whatever that may mean.

Schuyler Dunlap Whelden


Please answer the following questions as specifically as possible, using examples when appropriate. We have elected to make the questions as broad as possible to encourage free-thinking answers.

1. What services/attributes does SchuylerCorp provide/possess that are essential to your relationship, as a client, with the company?

2. What services/attributes does SchuylerCorp not possess that you feel could improve its standing in your life and in serving you better?

3. In regards to both of the above questions, what do these services/attributes mean, overall, to your impression of SchuylerCorp and your relationship with it?

4. As a client (and shareholder, if appropriate), in what areas would you like to see improvement in the coming weeks, year and long-term?

5. If possible, please provide one example each of a time when SchuylerCorp met your expectations and did not meet your expectations along with an explanation as to how each situation made you feel.

We greatly appreciate any time you take to answer these questions. Without your help, we can only guess as to how to improve our product to best serve you. As seriously as we are while undertaking this endeavor, we don’t necessarily expect the same in return. If you have any questions/comments/concerns about the survey, please direct them to:

Director of Marketing